Monday, April 16, 2007

Why I shouldn't watch TV

So, Tim Minear has a new show. I love Tim. He's a semi-regular poster to a Buffy-fan board I (mostly) lurk on. He's smart and funny. He loves Sondheim. He's good to the fans.

However, I have real issues getting to his new show, Drive. In case you haven't heard, it's a show about "a secret, illegal, cross-country road race". Naturally, they start in Key West. Naturally, the majority of the three-hour, two-night premiere event took place in Florida, my adopted home state.

Here's what I posted in my forum:

I want to like this show. I really do. I have an unreasonable love for the way Nathan Fillion flares his nostrils. I like Los Hermanos Salazar. I have a healthy desire to throttle almost everyone else, which is a helpful way to channel my post-rush hour on I-4-commute agression.

However, as someone who has lived both in the middle of the Mojave Desert and in Gainesville, Florida, I can tell you with absolute certainity that the two landscapes look nothing like each other.

The biggest, longest laugh I had in tonight's episode was Corrina complaining that they would never leave Florida at the exact, precise moment that she was backed by the stunning mountains of California.

Tim, dude, you can make a Wax Lion talk. Why can't you photoshop out the mountains? Why can't you add some greenery? My disbelief can only be suspended so far.

I hate that I'm complaining about this, and it upsets me that I am this thoroughly agitated by this. I remember driving from Gainesville to Orlando when the swamps along the sides of the roads were so flooded that alligators were roadkill. You could drive 75 miles an hour down the highway and count dozens of gators lurking in the ditches along the side of the road.

I hereby offer my tour guide services of Central Florida to any entertainment producer type. I will even throw in a trip to Disney World. Please come to my home; take pictures; make some home movies; take notes. As Vi told us tonight, it's important to get the details right.

Alternately, don't show us the landscapes, because you're only going to annoy people in other states.

Ok, done now.

So, how about NF's nostrils?

I suppose I shouldn't get all worked up. The show's on Fox, which has a history of cancelling Tim's shows within six episodes (12 if you count Firefly, which is really a Joss Whedon show). The ratings for last night were not good. I should be stressing about the ratings instead of the production values; but really, I expect a lot more from Tim. I guess I'm just reacting to the sudden yet inevitable betrayal.


bill said...

I somehow missed the mountains the first night, but definately caught them the second. A couple other things they missed:

1. Driving through the Valdosta area it is customary to yell, "Christ, it stinks. What is that smell?"

2. What's with all the yellow lines all over I-75? Take care of that as long you're photoshopping out the mountains.

3. I forget if they mentioned where the next stop is, but Rome is on the way to Chattanooga. If it turns out they're going further up the Eastern Seaboard, then they screwed up and will have to go back through Atlanta to get to I-85.

Icepick said...

I decided that although the mountains are annoying, they're not what's bothering me the most. It's come out that the producers didn't have the time or the budget to fix that. Okay, fine.

But dudes, use Yahoo's or Google's map functions to get the mileages right! Using the displayed mileages from the show one would assume Gainesville is only 74 miles from Cape Canaveral. That's only about 100 miles off. Also, fire the continuity person, 'cause they're blowing it. In the shots after the shuttle launch, some people are looking to the left of the highway and some are looking to right of the highway to see the launch. It can't be both!

bill said...

Nevermind, canceled after 4 episodes.

justkim said...

Yeah, news came to the board shortly after hitting the web, and Tim confirmed for us. I wish I could say I'm surprised, but given how bad teh ratings were after it's debut, and considering they kept falling, I can't be.

I can't even really blame Fox too much. They advertised the hell out of the show. I think the biggest problem for the show was the mid-April premiere. Most people who pay a little bit of attention expect mid-season shows in January or March, and most people don't pay that much attention. The screwy premiere date combined with the timeslot against the juggernaut of Dancing with the Stars, Drive didn't stand a chance.